I have had so many people in my life that ask me how I am. They have no issues when I am happy, or helpful, or am there for them. But when I try and let out what I feel, it is a new story. I can’t count how many times I try and say how I really feel and just get brushed off.

I get it. It is hard to support someone. It is hard not to treat them like they are just another complaint in the world. I know that I am just another complaint, but some days I need that. There are VERY few people in the world that I can just truly vent to… Actually, is there anyone?

I want to spread positivity in the world, and I will always treat everyone better than I expect to be treated. I know it’s self-induced. I am not fine. I am really not fine, no matter what I say. How do you say that without just being another suicidal jerk complaining about not feeling like you get enough in the world?

Even as I type that, I understand, I have no right to say I am not fine. As I spiral around these emotions, just listen to the song, and find that person that can see through the bullshit to make you actually feel fine.

Finally feeling the pressure of
Keeping my feelings inside
Yeah I’m fine
Well maybe I’m not
And I just need to tell someone
I’m not alright
Do you wonder how it’d feel to
Let somebody in to finally see the real you?
Me too
I hide behind a mask
But it’s getting pretty see through
Cuz I’m so tired of trying to pretend like
I can do it on my own
When in the end I’m
Sick and tired of feeling alone
I wish there was a way that
you could read my mind
When I say I’m fine