I have had so many people in my life that ask me how I am. They have no issues when I am happy, or helpful, or am there for them. But when I try and let out what I feel, it is a new story. I can’t count how many times I try and say how I really feel and just get brushed off.

I understand. It’s genuinely challenging to support someone. It’s difficult not to see them merely as another complaint in this vast world. I recognize that I often feel like just another burden, but there are days when I truly need more than that. There are so very few people I can really vent to… In fact, is there even anyone?

I want to spread positivity in the world, and I will always treat everyone better than I expect to be treated. I recognize that this is a choice I’ve made. The truth is, I’m not okay. I’m truly not okay, regardless of how I try to convey otherwise. How can I express this without coming across as just another lost soul complaining about not feeling like you get enough in the world?

Even as I type these words, I realize I have no right to claim that I’m not fine. As I navigate these swirling emotions, I find solace in the music, clinging to the hope that someone will cut through the noise and help me genuinely feel “fine”.

Finally feeling the pressure of
Keeping my feelings inside
Yeah I’m fine
Well maybe I’m not
And I just need to tell someone
I’m not alright
Do you wonder how it’d feel to
Let somebody in to finally see the real you?
Me too
I hide behind a mask
But it’s getting pretty see through
Cuz I’m so tired of trying to pretend like
I can do it on my own
When in the end I’m
Sick and tired of feeling alone
I wish there was a way that
you could read my mind
When I say I’m fine