There is a fine line between the grip of alcoholism and the yearning to momentarily break free from life’s suffocating weight. Choosing not to drink isn’t a struggle for me—it’s merely a choice. This song resonates deeply within me, articulating my thoughts, and the very essence of who I am.
‘Cause I’ve been chasin’ the man that I am when I start to drinkHe’s cocky confident, and he don’t give a damn what you thinkThis world is beatin’ me down, it has pushed me right to the brinkI take a shot every time because, man, it helps me escape
I’m takin’ care of these people, but no one takes care of meI wanna talk to somebody, but I feel no one relates
Sometimes, it’s not about escaping what is happening around me, but rather mending the pieces of myself. There’s this haunting line that echoes in my mind: “I keep drinking until I am someone I don’t recognize.” And that captures it all. It’s not a scary or bad person. It’s about becoming a better version of myself. A version that can laugh wholeheartedly, dance freely, and embrace joy without reservation. Someone who stands tall with pride and radiates confidence. A man who wants to be better.
Ultimately, I can’t help but ponder how many others out there, quietly grappling with the same heavy emotions. I know I should talk to people about it all, but deep down, I question whether my feelings, and me whining about my own self-worth, can possibly hold any significance in a world full of others wrestling with their own heartaches and struggles.
At the end of the day, it gets me through the day and night. It anchors me, helping me navigate the waters of life. A few drinks become not just a distraction, but a lifeline, to ensure to preserve my sanity just a little longer in this chaotic existence.
https://open.spotify.com/track/7Bg1pphdvxWtvYqGGdqSOk?si=fdd6a5ea87bf4ffd