This is the song that sparked the very essence of this blog, igniting a fire within me. Yet, I find myself torn when I listen to it. I don’t feel like this song directly applies to me, but somehow it captures my feelings in life. The soul-crushing realization of not living up to the expectations I have set for myself.
While listening to the song, the lyrics encapsulate the struggle of pouring one’s heart into everything, only to feel the weight of disappointment when those we care for remain unsatisfied. Specifically, the singer is talking about a romantic relationship, but the truth in their words stretches far beyond, sprawling into the depths of human relationships and our ceaseless need for validation.
The Lyrics are hauntingly beautiful, how the individual in the song acknowledges what needs to be done and rises to the challenge, only to be met with the crushing response that it’s still not enough. Whether or not they did anything wrong, the person in the song starts to realize that they aren’t good enough and they just assume the other person is better off without them. It is unclear, but deep down, I can’t help but believe that this isn’t true; this person is enough, they just lack the self-worth to keep fighting for their place.
It makes me wonder how often I have allowed the actions and perceptions of others cloud my own self-image. Making me feel like I won’t make it, or am not good enough. I know, in the depths of my heart, that these feelings are deceptive, yet they linger persistently, accompanying me through my days—at work, at home, while making choices in life… the haunting echo of not being good enough is a shadow that seems to follow me everywhere.
“Truth is that you know you’re better without me
And the truth is we both know you’re right”
Truth or not, perception is reality. Even without the validation of someone saying it, I have in the past pictured the thoughts of another person until they felt achingly real. Until they tear me down piece by agonizing piece… leaving me bruised and aching, haunted by the crushing belief that I was somehow unworthy.