Some days I just need some time to hate on myself, but I’ll be ok. I wonder how many people say, feel or think this. There are so many times (almost daily) that I need to take a few minutes and really look at the mistakes I have made, and what I have done wrong. I look over my life, and who I am as a person, and remind myself that I need to be better.

It’s like the line in “I’ll be OK” by Ballyhoo….

Some days I’m an inconsolable mess
Not feeling the love
I just need some time to
Hate on myself
And I’ll be ok

I don’t mean to be, and I know there are people that love me. I am married to the best woman who tells me all the time how great I am and how much I mean. But then there will be something small that will put my head right back into it’s prison. Ultimately I see it as a good thing. If I am living in this mindset knowing that I can get better, then I will continue to work for it.

And this song ends with the the lines that hit the nail on the head that is my thought process and my feelings. It sums up how I see myself and my personality. “It’s nobody’s fault, I’m just a little fucked up. But I’ll be ok”. I know I will pull out and continue my life. I just need that time to stop and realize that I am me…. It’s not right, but it’s gonna be ok.