So there is so much to say. So much that has happened. Inherently my life is fine. I mean… I have a good job, a loving family, and I was raised in what many would consider a normal way. I can’t really complain… until I dig a little deeper. That’s when the truth starts to emerge.
Ultimately, I’ve always despised the notion of making others feel sorry for me. I played that role for years, believing it was the only way to gain the attention I so deeply desired. It took me time to understand that I don’t need anyone’s pity. Yet, there are days when I just have to let the world know:
I had a no good, really bad, messed up dayAnd I’m stressed out, super sad, not okayI’m never gettin’ better, no, it’s not a phaseWish I felt everything less, can I be sad for a minute, and not be depressed?I’m hangin’ on by a thread, your hands on my neck, and now I’m out of breath
I understand that so many people in this world endure challenges far more devastating than mine. So many are struggling to find food, lacking a place to call home, facing abuse, and dealing with profound issues… and here I am, feeling overwhelmed because I need to make choices in my life. I have to allow myself the space to be selfish and admit that sometimes, I need to scream and vent my frustrations, even if no one hears me.
https://open.spotify.com/track/5IzJBDURDhsfIWXE2kGvWb?si=bbc6be81caf84ad2