Family – So many people have different opinions on them. Some say that they are blood, and no matter what you need to support them and be there. Some say friends can be closer than family. Some have had family hurt them or destroy their life. Others have had family carry them through life.
I don’t know where I stand. I can’t tell if I let them down or they let me down. Should I expect them to be there when I need them, or be OK with them letting me handle my life alone.
Taste bitter on a guilty tongueIt’s hard to see I’m the chosen oneFake friends with a camera phoneUgly, drunk, cold and missin’ home
This home of mine, I see it in my dreamsBut everyone looks happy, and everyone still likes meThis home of mine, I miss it all the timeWhat happened to this family? What happened to this family?I let you down
Texts, calls, hugs, birthday cardsBeing thoughtful can be so hardFirst 15 years I’m the favourite sonLast 15 years I’m the hated one
This heart of mine gets blacker all the timeAffection makes me nauseousBelieve me, I don’t want thisI hurt my blood tonight, I made my sisters cryI never say ‘I love you’ even though I want to
I’m just my father’s son, my mother’s kidA shitty brother, I’m nobody’s friendAnd this is all my fault, I only make you cryI don’t deserve this family, you’re better off without me
‘Cause I let you down and I lost my fucking mindAnd everything got messy and everyone got angryI cursed my blood tonight, it happens all the timeIs everyone against me? Has everyone goddamned me?
What happened to this family?What happened to this family?What happened to this family?What happened to this family?
Don’t hate me, don’t hate meDon’t let me drown
I hate goodbyes, so cringy I could dieWe only say ‘I love you’ ’cause that’s what we’re supposed toAnd most families lie, but I meant it every timeAnd treat you like you’re worthless, I never said I’m perfect
Maybe my big issue is I see that I hurt them through my life also. So they, like me, refuse to bring their life down to help mine. Maybe I need to be more understanding.
Or maybe, when I am struggling, I should expect nothing and then continue that expectation when I am not struggling. I truly wonder if it would be easier to just let go, and move on.