Some days I just need some time to hate on myself, but I’ll be ok. I wonder how many people say, feel or think this. Almost every day, I take a few minutes and really look at the mistakes I have made, and what I have done wrong. I look over my life, and who I am as a person, and remind myself that I need to be better.

It’s like the line in “I’ll be OK” by Ballyhoo….

Some days I’m an inconsolable mess
Not feeling the love
I just need some time to
Hate on myself
And I’ll be ok

I don’t intend to dwell in this space, and I truly recognize that there are people who care deeply for me. I’m blessed to be married to an incredible woman who constantly reminds me of my worth and how much I mean to her. Yet, sometimes, something seemingly small can jerk my mind right back into its confining prison. Ultimately, I choose to view it as a positive. If I can live in this awareness, knowing that there’s a path to improvement ahead of me, I will keep striving for it with all my heart.

And this song ends with the the lines that hit the nail on the head that is my thought process and my feelings. It sums up how I see myself and my personality. “It’s nobody’s fault, I’m just a little fucked up. But I’ll be ok”. I know I will pull out and continue my life. I simply need that moment to pause and acknowledge that I am who I am… It might not be perfect, but I believe it will be okay.