If a person gets pushed and stressed enough, something will give. Some people will turn to drinking. Some will just get depressed. Some people will even get pushed to the breaking point of taking their own life.

The stress in my life has pushed me to a new point, a numb point. To a point of defense that when I feel my emotions turning, I just push all feelings out and feel nothing. This is different than pushing the feelings aside. Or ignoring them and just feeling something else. This is a legitimate absence of emotion. It’s when I know I should feel something and just don’t.

I was the life of the party, now I hardly speak
Fill my cup with regrets and haunted memories
I pour up this poison so sweet on my tongue
Oh god, it feels good to be numb

There is no laughter, there is no crying, there is no anger, there is no feeling. There is nothing. A smile would indicate a feeling. A tear would signal pain or sadness. Anger shows in so many forms. However, there is nothing. Like the “Nothing” from the never-ending story. There is no explanation, as it’s just…. nothing. It’s Numb.