There are so many lines in this song that almost bring me to tears. It’s hard to bring it all down to one thought, or one reason. If I were asked to break this song down to what hits me the hardest it’s the flagship line from the Chorus:
“It’s been several yearsSince I felt okay, I’m losing my way and…It’s been several yearsSince I felt alive, there’s no tears to cry and”
The hard part is I can not pinpoint the time this happened. To be fully honest with myself, the last several years have been great. I have a great wife and kids. I can go out and buy almost anything I need and most of what I want. My friends care for me, and my family loves me.
Looking over my life, my feelings, my thoughts, and my emotions I find that the problem isn’t my life, family, friends, or what is happening. The problem is me.
Basically, the WHOLE first verse hits my heart hard and causes my mind to spiral in a way that I don’t know how to recover from. Not that my mind isn’t there, but it takes the feelings and thoughts and organizes them in a way that I couldn’t put into words:
“I’m really lonely and feel drainedSometimes I feel like a mistakeI just sit and dwell in my traumaMy life’s full a problemsI feel like I might breakTried to move on but I just can’tBreak down after break down and some daysI wish I could run away, just to escapeAnd feel at ease even if it means one dayWhere did my life go wrongI was a happy teen and now I’m an adultWho sad as hell and always at a lossNo one tell I’m drowning in my thoughtsI’m still lost tryna find purposeAfter all of these years I’m still searchingHope you forgive me for being a burdenSelf love is something that I’m still learningAnd I know I lie when I tell you I’m fineCuz no body knows I’m struggling insideSorry if you see me cry, It’s just I finally realize
It’s been several yearsSince I felt okay”